You speak a language I cannot translate
every word and every sentence
have double meanings
I cannot read the truth
or the lies in your eyes
you disappear and I convince myself
you need space
you return and I convince myself
it means something more
this is my greatest folly
trying to build certainty
from ambiguous foundations
I remember us once watching the darkness
gathering beyond the windows
the intimacy felt sacred
yet the next day you would retreat again
placing oceans between us
again, I feel both chosen and abandoned
simultaneously held and released
I have wandered this labyrinth for so long
that ambiguity has become my companion
during sleepless nights it quietly whispers
maybe, perhaps, what if
words that will never become reality
we had moments of extraordinary beauty
when I glimpsed the person
beneath all the contradictions
©Ann Bagnall
Annie's Poetry 