…is a clinging vine

Loneliness is a clinging vine that quietly winds itself
around every part of me, even the parts that I cannot see
it gets comfortable there
in the endless darkness and the unnerving silence
I do not need to see my resident oppressor
for I know it is both my friend and my enemy
both constantly whispering to me
building me up, bringing me down
giving me hope and then taking it away without an explanation
this is a toxic relationship
as loneliness strives to keep a hold on me
seemingly finding satisfaction in my misery
not willing to loosen its’ grip upon me
as if I am a prisoner in my own heart, my own soul
unable to see a pathway to freedom
I dream of the time that I can fly free from these invisible chains
when I can turn my back on the constant chatter in my mind
the back and forth of what I have lost
and what may await me tomorrow, only to awaken again
in this complex maze of devastation
as I watch the first light of dawn, slowly bleeding into the horizon
slowly painting its colours upon the morning
I think about the dichotomy of darkness and light
and how they both have their time to be
how they peacefully pass each other in that moment between them
I think about the balance of darkness and light
and the cycles of the seasons
that have moments of growth, moments of loss
moments of brutal cold and the warmth of the sun
all navigated in the peaceful recognition
that everything has its’ time and everything has its’ season
and as I stand here upon the thin line between darkness and light
I look backwards to loneliness, my once constant companion
and then quietly circle back to the light
feeling the gentle touch of healing
in now the blushing dawn
©Ann Bagnall