…of my grief

Floating untethered on the black seas of my sorrow
drenched in the cold waves of loneliness
lost in the glassy mirrors of reflection, your face is all I can see
rolling tides of loss find me, in the deepest wells of my seclusion
gently serenading the darkness, creating rivers that run rampant
over the scattered pebbles of my despair
my jagged thoughts are tossed hither and yon
in the ebb and the flow
across the roaring walls of silence, in an emptiness
that fills everything to overflowing
while seeking more and more of me
I dance with the ever-shifting emotions
the formless shadows of my grief, that overwhelm me
and I am drowning as they whisper sweet nothings to my soul
and in the end they swallow me whole
fragments of time are flashing before me
back and forth and in light and dark
but they cannot find me beneath my fading leaves
where I am searching for peace
white noise a constant distraction, black silence a constant longing
fragile dreams that take more than they give
here in my lilting waves of desolation
my petals of pain overwhelm me
I am clinging like a leaf to her branch
to the thorny threads of my memories
bleeding into the swirling ink of the maelstrom
where the sea calls my name from far away
and my ravens are circling black upon black
salt in my eyes my grief now liquid, unmoving and colourless
I am weightless in endless time and open space
sea and sky become the flow of time
my heart, my heart, is no longer mine
© Ann Bagnall