…is swinging again

The illusions I created, once settled in my mind
are now shape shifting
and slowly drifting in and out of sight
wildly traversing between the darkness and the light
my pendulum of pain is swinging again
its’ rhythmic dance resounding in my bones
a tidal wave of emotions, I am yours and you are mine
once promised to the end of time
you love me you love me not, the ache of separation
a sudden awareness of an unexpected loss
a lingering disharmony that I cannot understand
a cognitive dissonance, my thoughts in disarray
I feel our path diverging, this is our fork in the road
now my ashen dreams are falling softly down
floating all around me, hands outstretched I reach for them
but they are insubstantial, feather light as wishes
carried on a summer breeze
yet still they weigh so heavily within in my winter heart
where waves of doubt are forming
their voices roaring from the depths of the unseen abyss
the chaos of the moment washes them all away
and once again I find myself, and now I remember why
you will always be what I run from, in the silence
© Ann Bagnall