…with our secrets

Our time together was precious and fragile
every minute was our forever
a seemingly timeless expanse, always music to my soul
but each long pause between the notes
was filled with reflections and unfulfilled longing
a time in which time was no longer timeless
for this was our pattern, we were and then we were not
a never-ending journey of endless circularity
but in my heart I still ached for it
for the alternative was a cold barren place
where you would not reside
so despite the devastation
each inevitable pause was sacred and lingering
in the way that loss, like last night’s ashes
and in the way that loss, in the marrow of our bones
always lingers somewhere inside of us
now our time together has ended again
and there is a distance between us
in which the silence carries a heavy burden
and I feel its weight upon my soul
pain flowing through my veins
love and loss seamlessly mingling
in each breathless second, the tapestry of destiny
is weaving its intricate web
where seconds finally become a minute
and everything is frozen in that moment
that single minute, our ephemeral anchor to each other
where the world stands still relinquishing its chaos
an exquisite respite within a seemingly eternal minute
I am overcome by a symphony of emotions, undulating like waves
in the weightlessness of this interlude
I retreat once more into the ocean of silence where the only sound
is the rhythmical cadence of my beating heart
once again we are drifting, like feathers, or leaves
or the first blossoms upon a warm breeze
in this timeless place we both seek solace
in the delicate embrace of this single minute
where our hearts have always found peace
this infinitesimal fraction of time
holds within it, everything that I cling to
this minute transcends mere ticks of the clock
the seconds fly away, minutes evaporate
a brief moment in time, paradoxically powerful, eternally reaching
and to me it feels like forever, an unyielding moment
in our clandestine world, this minute was always our bridge
between the past and the future, where time lost its grip on us both
this minute, seemingly stretched out
in all its ethereal splendour, endlessly before us
but it is an intricate web, spun by fate itself to its inevitable end
not just a pause between the notes
but a metamorphosis unfolding deep within me
now elusive melodies still haunt my memories
and time flows languidly as I dance in the shadows
with our secrets still whispering in the depths of my soul
ever veiled in mystery, over and over again
our eternity reveals itself to me
© Ann Bagnall