…you still paint my yearning

Weariness encircles my heart
in a haunted wind I am endlessly searching
for the light of your soul in each flickering candle
and when the last candle fails I am left empty, without a trace
empty, even of the ashes of my memories
falling, still falling, into the heart of the night
flowing gracefully through the eternal threads of life
the unexpected elegance of endings
so cold it is now, fear opens her black silken wings
and dark butterflies flutter silently within
the helpless trembling of a single candle flame
painting long shadows in this darkening autumn
our secrets still held, promises never broken
so many long years, yet winter calls us at last
our memories are scattered now, drifting like smoke in the wind
ethereal visions slowly forming
at first glance, familiar, stirring up old feelings
I can almost reach them with my outstretched hands
but in my desperation, with sudden dread
I see them shifting, slowly drifting away with the autumn leaves
rippling across the surface of a now familiar sea
the stones of doubt fall heavily and carry you far from me
for endings are always unwritten, always unexpected, like regret
but this is where you left me, and as the wind blows, I look down
in the palm of my hand, a leaf rests and now again, the aching need
for even in your absence, you still paint my yearning
© Ann Bagnall