…to your memory

Here on the fault line
in this place of doubts and misery
time keeps slipping away
‘is it night? is it day?’
here in the depths seasons are in disarray
I am lost in the chaos
nothing but a shell hollowed out by grief
‘how does this emptiness weigh so heavily?
as if I am emptiness itself?’
searching in the silence for just a brief glimpse
a familiar sound
‘anything that brings you back to me’
hopelessly reaching for shattered fragments
something to hold on to
for I am a leaf in the wind, a fragile butterfly
a slow winding stream
‘destination unknown’
time winds forward, a temporal paradox
‘and you are still gone’
time rewinds
‘and you are still gone’
no longed-for contradiction
slow waves of sorrow roll gently over me
and I awaken from dreaming
the ghostly shadows
‘of enigmatic memories’
still quietly lingering
loss follows me everywhere like a hungry shadow
and grief anchors me to your memory
‘so I offer my surrender’
darkness reigns over me
© Ann Bagnall