…into which I am gratefully falling

We have completely exhausted every last vestige of hope
there is nothing left to hold on to and nothing left to lose
all is lost and even those parts of you
that once became a part of me
have now drifted so far away
that I can no longer feel, no longer see
even the shadow of who we used to be
the currents of time have pulled me out into the aching sea
where the moon strolls slowly as the earth spins around
the tides ebb and flow through my broken heart
filling the places, where you used to be
drifting away from the moon and the stars
into the darkest corners of the night
I am an empty boat adrift in uncharted waters
no captain to guide me through the wild waves
that are crashing down upon me
no crew to bail the rising waters from my hull
as one wave after another, I am feeling the weight
slowly becoming closer and closer
to that moment, that inevitable moment
when the waves will prevail and my efforts will be to no avail
that moment, when the darkness above
and the darkness below, slide together
like rich dark silk that whispers seductively
as it winds itself around every last pinprick of light
it’s cool surface, a preview of the waiting depths
into which I am gratefully falling
as if into a dream, where all sounds are muffled
and all sights unseen
and the gentle arms of the aching sea
always feel like home to me
and wave after wave they comfort me
wave after wave the darkness flees
wave after wave my heart flies free
in the balm of the sky and the sea
© Ann Bagnall