…still walk beside me

I have thrown
a thousand wishes
to the wandering winds
and watched them as they fell
upon the roaring flames
now all but ashes dissolving
into the restless night
silenced, like lost echoes, or truth
yet somehow lingering
still slowly drifting
as the wind is dying
like an old bruise
its’ colours slowly changing
shifting from red to black
and slowly fading
into many shades of blue
until I can’t see them anymore
but I can still feel them here

the shadows of yesterday
still walk beside me
they are quietly whispering
of all of the things
that can no longer be
just as they linger in places
that I can no longer see
the soft melodies
of long lost hopes
and broken dreams
haunt the edges
of my reality
and I ache for the time
when they set me free
I continue to pretend
that I am going somewhere
but I am really stationary
going nowhere at all

the mind is unmercifully cruel
it edits and it replays
brightens the moments
that I tried to let fade
such artistry it takes
to paint these scenes
but when I reach for you
my arms are empty
and all I can see
is light refracted
through a broken prism
the slow realisation
that looking back
is just another way
of standing still
and the silence
as mute as the grave
completes the thought
© Ann Bagnall