…of our memories

The night unfolds in silence
the only light
the distant stars
weaving rivers
that flow into oceans
the moon has not yet risen
from her peaceful bed
despite the perfect painting
that now adorns the canopy
it is a cold and wintry night
and the ghosts are circling too
shifting, in the frigid breeze
the shadows
of the of all that is lost
the wanderers
between the here and then
bemoaning the past
yet absent, from all tomorrows

the fragrance of flowers
the fragrance of grief
drifting upon the ribbons
of darkness
drenching all below
the poignant tears
of the night
in a brief interlude of emotion
I think of you here
for here, is where
we lost each other
this place torments me
yet this is also
where my heart lives
where the shadows of us
still linger
asking for nothing

here
at the edge of the unknown
all secrets are revealed
all the things that torment us
are put to rest
even if only for seconds
or minutes
in our imagination
I try to hold on to the night
even though I know
even though
I have always known
in the dark depths
of my sorrow
that I will now forever
stand here alone
under this sky of dark and light

as long as your river
runs through my heart
and flows into the ocean
that now keeps us apart
I will be here
sometimes joyous
sometimes broken
and sometimes
just a mere reflection
of myself
but I will never turn away
I will always be here
calling to the stars in the dark
and night, after endless night
even in your absence
I know you hear my heart calling

under this beautiful canopy
I have danced
in the fragrance of spring
danced
in the summer sun
danced
in the autumn leaves
and danced
in the deepest of dark winters
I have danced
in our memories
and danced in the flames
that once were ours
and I now understand
that all along
I have been dancing with fire

and as fire does
it has burned me
to the ground
so I offer my surrender
and try to rise from the ashes
but now and then
I still dance in the embers
of our memories
where I sometimes feel
the breath of endings
before it quickly vanishes
for even now, I still find you
everywhere, in everything
and I have always known
that I can never leave you behind
© Ann Bagnall