…of our memories

The night unfolds in silence
the only light the distant stars weaving rivers that flow into oceans
the moon has not yet risen from her peaceful bed
despite the perfect painting that now adorns the canopy
it is a cold and wintry night and the ghosts are circling too
shifting, in the frigid breeze
the shadows of the of all that is lost
the wanderers between the here and then
bemoaning the past, yet absent, from all tomorrows
the fragrance of flowers, the fragrance of grief
drifting upon the ribbons of darkness
drenching all below, the poignant tears of the night
in a brief interlude of emotion
I think of you here, for here, is where we lost each other
this place torments me, yet this is also where my heart lives
where the shadows of us still linger, asking for nothing
here at the edge of the unknown
all secrets are revealed
all the things that torment us are put to rest
even if only for seconds or minutes in our imagination
I try to hold on to the night
even though I know, even though I have always known
in the dark depths of my sorrow
that I will now forever stand here alone
under this sky of dark and light
as long as your river runs through my heart
and flows into the ocean that now keeps us apart
I will be here, sometimes joyous, sometimes broken
and sometimes just a mere reflection of myself
but I will never turn away, I will always be here
calling to the stars in the dark
and night, after endless night
even in your absence, I know you hear my heart calling
under this beautiful canopy
I have danced in the fragrance of spring
danced in the summer sun
danced in the autumn leaves
and danced in the deepest of dark winters
I have danced in our memories
and danced in the flames that once were ours
and I now understand that all along
I have been dancing with fire
and as fire does, it has burned me to the ground
so I offer my surrender and try to rise from the ashes
but now and then I still dance in the embers of our memories
where I sometimes feel the breath of endings
before it quickly vanishes
for even now, I still find you everywhere, in everything
and I have always known
that I can never leave you behind
© Ann Bagnall