…circle me

Loss and loneliness circle me
staring into the mirror again, the glass reflectionless, smooth as silk
as always, I am drawn to it, drawn to the danger
the danger of falling, falling into my memories
into that place, that place that still haunts me
my heart is beating, a frantic rhythm
my eyes fixed on the cold surface
straining to hear the call of the past
the mirror ripples before me, and I see your face
your colours shifting in and out of view
looking once more into your eyes
my heart is reminded that the mirror always lies
that the darkness within, will pull me in
and I will tumble into the past again
becoming my own reflection, trapped beyond the glass
captured, a prisoner, of my own making
still drawn by the allure of what could have been
until the echoes of reality whisper to me
for mere seconds, my fingertips caress the cold glass
and as the ripples disappear
but the still surface reflects my face
yesterday has faded once more, leaving me lost in the moment
and as I breathe deeply, loss and loneliness still circle me
but in my heart, I am at rest
finally at peace with the colours of me
© Ann Bagnall