…of pain

Starry skies look down on me
while I look down upon lights below
not knowing that I am observed
I am feeling alone, seeking to be away from prying eyes
the night is cold and clear, it stings my flesh
as tears track down my face marking rivers of pain
I seek the reason for my desolation seek to understand
yet fear the answers that I do not wish to find
I wish I could go without knowing
knowledge though, is power, yet power is beyond me
I am lost trying to find myself, seeking what I do not wish to find
my answers raise more questions, the questions give more pain
the stars are hard and sharp, like tears
upon the velvet blackness of the night
their harsh beauty takes my breath away
they mock my anguish and while appearing to be above it all
they are immersed in it, diamonds forever out of reach
out my reach, me who can only dream
Where is the lady moon?
Does she also seek to hide?
the night is black without her, somehow less forgiving
the stars take advantage, wield power, not usually theirs
but then the rolling mists of night are gently passing overhead
obscuring me from the piercing scrutiny
from the unsympathetic gloating, glances
it wraps the stars in cotton wool
smothers the sounds of their laughter
eases the bite of the punishing wind
and I feel joy blinded by tears
my tension seeps away and I sleep without dreams
as softly, in the quiet the clouds come calling
© Ann Bagnall
2013