…I could never hold

Forever lost in a dream, ethereal and drifting
the first light of dawn is still lazy and lingering
deep in the vales, silence slowly circles
and a soft mist dances to an unseen orchestra
the trees are ghostly and whispering
their cold breath creeping beneath my skin
their leaves still falling on a wing and prayer
a distant river runs slowly
her unsung songs circling in my soul
I raise my arms towards the sky
only to discover my impending invisibility
my hands translucent, as ethereal as this dream
now I feel the wind circling
discovering my vulnerability it slips silently through me
and now, I feel nothing at all
the night has not yet acquiesced
the dawn is still lingering
and I wonder if this really is a dream
or somehow, my new reality?
have I drifted into this strange domain
this place of shadows and light?
only to fade away, awaiting the new day
with the soundless birds and the sentient trees
that are constantly watching me?
perhaps this is a lucid dream arising from the trauma
I have buried in depths unseen?
drawn from the wells of deeply held dread
are these my ghosts come home to rest?
not wood, not feathers, not flesh
do they come to me to reinforce
that the past cannot be defeated?
do they come to remind me of what I cannot keep
and what I cannot leave behind?
of love, once closely held within my heart
and love long lost, still buried deep in my soul
the echoes of the past now lingering
like smoke upon a carrying wind
for you were the wind I could never hold
your eyes a sapphire blue that lovingly gazed at me
your honeyed words, your touch like fire
but I gazed too long into the mirror
and it devoured my light
and on reflection
I never really understood
that you were always ethereal and drifting
forever lost in a dream
© Ann Bagnall