…in my heart

In my eternal longing I have been searching
yearning for the light, for a glimmer of hope
my heart belongs only to you, for you hold a piece of my soul
the fragment that completes me
from dawn to dusk and through the dark hours in between
I am wandering through the ruins of us
where all that remains, just broken walls and open doors
the past crumbling amidst the dust and the debris
I sometimes find solace in my shadowed dreams
where all is not what it seems
and for brief intervals of illusion the storm inside of me subsides
but in my heart the rain still falls
drip
after drop
after drip
tapping out
a mournful melody
echoing
into the ethers
that surround me
I am sorrow unfurled, broken and bleeding
and still the drops fall
their abstract art morphing before me
slowly becoming reflections of my pain
memories swirling in wild abandon
as the rain falls inside my broken walls
it sings a soft refrain as it drenches me in sorrow
I close my eyes and in my mind I see your face
I call to you above the beating rain
through an open door in a broken wall
spinning around I search the room, only to find you gone
unreachable, once more erased from this desolate place
and in the moment it finally comes to me
that in this dream , in this empty space every wall that falls
opens a door to a memory
here, endless walls will crumble and fall
as I sift through the remnants of the aching past
but no dream no wind or rain, will ever bring you back to me
my broken walls and my memories are now just a place
a place I cannot erase, but where I can embrace all that I ever lost
and for every wall that falls apart
another door opens in my heart
© Ann Bagnall