…I am now found

Awakening from a dream
I find myself within these walls
unfamiliar walls of dark wood
a window facing a vast ocean
the only source of light

against a rocky shoreline
waves are returning over and over
the salty air is thick with mist
a cool breeze circles
and the sound of rain
a constant
tap
tap
tapping

I am wandering aimless
lost and purposeless
through endless empty rooms
loneliness overwhelms me
this is a feeling that I know well

the rain is now heavy
echoing through the halls
a bolt of lightning splits the sky
illuminating the darkness
my silhouette
softly bathed in the light
beckons me into the night

unable to resist
I find myself
enveloped by the storm
sibilant whispers
incomprehensible
surround me
yet still my soul
feels a connection

I hear the rhythmic sound
of waves crashing
against the shore
a wild wind
howling into the night
I become as one
with the storm
unafraid
and no longer alone

my silhouette and I
tearing through empty rooms
the storm
keeping time with us
a wild chaotic dance
surrounded
by an otherworldly light
lightning flashes
brief and intense

room after empty room
the walls fall away
in their place
a vast open space
I am now a child of the storm
born of the wind and the rain
made of the mist and the lightning
and thunder is my voice
my every movement
reflecting chaos and rage

embracing the night
with fear and fascination
I am drawn to the storm
as she begins to calm
the lightning fades
the rain softens to a gentle patter
a melodic song
at odds
with the chaos and disorder
that has always been mine

my movements slow now
I feel a surge of longing
of passion and of pain
a song resonates
from deep inside of me
it calls to me
as I am drifting
drifting
through twisted trees
their branches reaching
into the cover of night

I am moving further away
away from the storm
but I am still not free
my destination unknown
a glimmer of light flickers
as I move deeper into the trees
my naked feet
sinking in soft damp earth

the perfumes of night
are heavy here
a symphony of darkness
runs through my veins
matching the rhythm of my heart

suddenly I am standing alone
dressed in a cloak of midnight
and as if by some unseen force
I am drawn again to the shadows
I fear I am lost in the chaos again
in the wild dance of the storm

but the night
is filled with secrets
alive and calling to me
becoming one with the darkness
I am suddenly home
the chaos
fading with the night
into the soft light of dawn

I find myself once more
within familiar walls
of my once-empty rooms
now no longer empty
where I am no longer me
the me
that drifted aimlessly
through these empty rooms
these rooms
now filled with memories
filled
with the secrets of darkness

free from the solitude
that once drowned me
free from the prison of my mind
alive and wild
I am chaos unleashed
the memory of the storm
lingers upon my skin
and whispers in my soul

the walls of my empty rooms
come alive with the colours
and the feelings
that reflect my freedom
the darkness
that once consumed me
is now my muse

passion burns
brighter than the storm
my art
a reflection of my chaos
a tribute to the night
my pen and my brushes
now extensions of my soul

I create with bold strokes
and subtle undertones
chaos was my pathway
to me
once lost
I am now found
made anew
ever at peace
and ever free to be me
© Ann Bagnall