…my faithful companion

My sorrow falls in walls of waves, crashing heavily down upon me 
taking away the light and drowning me in seemingly endless night 
loss blossoms like a flower, opening out of season 
only to find the darkness and the cold too overwhelming 
in an effort to warm itself, it begins bleeding 
freely seeping into everything that surrounds it 
blooming like an open wound, its blood
painting everything in its dark hues 
as life flows away into the snow and the ice, colours fading to grey 
loss strips everything away, even the pain no longer remains
here in the seasons of loss the sun does not rise
the moon does not grace the skies
storms do not rage and wind does not play 
time is no longer measured in minutes or hours
but in breaths and unrelenting loneliness
where silence and reflection are my only companions 
memories once precious now exceed air and food
in terms of need,  life is in the dark caverns
endless reels of dreams flickering unseen 
and I close my eyes and breathe them in 
melancholy, my faithful companion
becomes beautiful in its constancy 
speaking to me from somewhere I cannot see 
holding me in a place where I do not wish to be 
yet from which I also no longer wish to leave 
© Ann Bagnall