…reaching for the unremembered

In the slim space between breaths
memories that were once vivid
and clamouring for attention
are suddenly distant
unreachable and fading
into the shadows

white noise surrounds me
like waves of snow
frozen in the moment
they assail my searching soul
but I am moving in slow motion
sleep walking 
in the hollows of darkness

where my heart beats slowly
from the distance
like the ominous call
of the drums of war
and the weight of the night
bears down upon me

now I am kneeling
hands clasped in fervent prayer
I hear a choir of angel’s voices
but in this place 
where nothing moves
I cannot discern
from whence they call

all around me
the night is as black
as a fallen mountain
with a raven perched
upon its back
from where there comes
the tortured roar
of a deathly silence

sorrowful winds are circling me
as I am fading
under these distant skies
still reaching
for the unremembered

my fledgling wings
unnoticed
emerging
from my shoulders
the weight
the weight is lifting
and I am drifting
beyond the loss
beyond the pain
through the tempest
through the rain

alighting
upon the shores of heaven
and in the light
I see the doves
that have carried me
from those distant shores
of endless night
my final flight

© Ann Bagnall