…the heart cannot un-hear them

Could somebody please
shadow the sun
and cover the crowds
of brilliant stars
that shine so bright
even in the darkest night

for I am languishing
in the rivers of mourning
that are flowing like razors
through my soul
and their glassy waters
already intensify
the colours of my pain

could the days and the nights
and the four seasons
maybe just blend
for a little while
try to live
in some kind of harmony
for the constant shifts
from dark to light
and cold to warm
and in between

beginnings and endings
night and day
blossoms and leaves
fields of grass
and fields of snow
birdsong
and wind song
emptiness and ice

these contrasting shifts
each create
their own songs
songs of joy
songs of loss
and the heart
cannot un-hear them

my body betrays me
aching to embrace
the beauty
even in desolation
I can’t turn myself away
and for this indulgence
my heart will always pay
as I return to the memories
made in the moments
tied to time and place

oh how I wish
I had the knowledge
a magic wand
or a cloak of invisibility
light as a feather
and as wide as the sea
that I could use to cover
all of the things
the places
the sounds
that bring you back to me

but my heart
is stronger than me
and understands
that this pain
is part of the journey
and that loss
is eternally connected
to love
and that love
should always be free

© Ann Bagnall