I know that I will see them again

I am haunted by many ghosts
far from deceased
far from gone
they wander free
ever shifting in the shadows
recoiling from the light
oblivious 
to my consciousness
of their existence

they linger at the edges
at the boundaries 
between moments
in that blurry space 
where night and day blend
submerging themselves
in the murky depths
that my mind 
might struggle to find

their echoes
their unfinished stories
cannot be silenced
they whisper 
into the void
circle 
the slightest sliver of light
searching
not for an exit
but an entrance

surreptitiously slipping
through the cracks
into once familiar passages
down streets 
long forsaken
long abandoned
by my heart 
and my soul

these ghosts 
that I try to outrun
that I pretend not to hear
when they call your name
that watch me
until my heart
once more 
shines a light
revealing their many eyes
awaiting my gaze

daring me to see them
daring me
to recognise 
the broken parts of me
that I abandoned
in an effort to save myself
their ghostly visages
expressionless
yet still I feel the judgement
the pleading
and I wait
and they wait
and we are all silent
and still
in the moment

the night holds its breath
the windows too, have eyes
and they are peering at me
awaiting my next breath
for I have been holding it
for far too long

everything frozen
seconds become minutes
midnight is calling
the bell, I hear the bell
long mournful tones
and I breathe
one deep breath 
after another
as the light fades
and the cloak of darkness
falls softly upon me

my ghosts know this dance
know that this time 
they were seen
but again
my surrender
was not theirs to claim
not discouraged
they return to the depths
and I know
that I will see them again

© Ann Bagnall