In many lifetimes

I have loved you in many lifetimes 
each time around my heart is shattered 
pieces scattered in your wake 

I have burned for centuries 
in the flames ignited by a glimpse of your face 
your whispers drifting in the silence 
your eyes looking deep into my soul

Night after endless night 
my existence is comprised 
of long interludes of waiting 
and brief seconds of hope 

Shifting back and forth 
between floating and drowning 
as the hourglass that holds me circles in time 
and I fall through the centre 
 
My landing is soft in the sands 
I test if it is real and it slips through my hands 
but before I can take a breath I am tumbling again
slipping on the empty glass beneath my feet 
as the sand covers me like rain 
 
In my desolation 
I have sought to extinguish our flames
gasping for air I am burning 
the fire rising higher as the winds of change blow in 

Alone in my desperation time stands still 
my demons dance as the fire climbs 
sucking the oxygen from every corner of this place 
purging my soul and your lingering ghost 

In the aftermath and the swirling smoke 
listening to the last cracks of devastation 
the last breaths of chaos 

Reality falls gently down with the ashes 
formless
yet heavy 
with the weight of consequence

© Ann Bagnall