The Formless Shadows Of My Grief


They swallow me whole

Floating untethered
on the black seas of my sorrow
drenched in the cold waves of loneliness
lost in the glassy mirrors of reflection
your face is all I can see

Rolling tides of loss find me
in the deepest wells of my seclusion
gently serenading the darkness
creating rivers that run rampant
over the scattered pebbles of my despair

My jagged thoughts are tossed
hither and yon in the ebb and the flow
across the roaring walls of silence
in an emptiness that fills everything to overflowing
while seeking more and more of me

I dance with the ever-shifting emotions
the formless shadows of my grief
that overwhelm me and I am drowning
as they whisper sweet nothings to my soul
and in the end they swallow me whole

Fragments of time are flashing before me
back and forth and in light and dark
but they cannot find me
beneath my fading leaves
where I am searching for peace

White noise a constant distraction
black silence a constant longing
fragile dreams that take more than they give
here in my lilting waves of desolation
my petals of pain overwhelm me

I am clinging like a leaf to her branch
to the thorny threads of my memories
bleeding into the swirling ink of the maelstrom
where the sea calls my name from far away
and my ravens are circling black upon black

Salt in my eyes my grief now liquid
unmoving and colourless I am weightless
in endless time and open space
sea and sky become the flow of time
my heart, my heart, is no longer mine

© Ann Bagnall

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